


Rock Bottom

by ailaikannu



Series: Imprisoned [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, Clexa Endgame, Drugs, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Probably murder, The 100 prison au, The prison au nobody asked for, Top dog Clarke, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-10-24 18:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10747266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikannu/pseuds/ailaikannu
Summary: Clarke and Lexa meet in prison. They both have troubled pasts, for different reasons. Clarke has been in prison for a while when Lexa gets busted and sent to Mount Weather Correctional.They meet there, they hate each other, and then... Who knows.Guys, I suck at summaries, but trust me on this one.Lexa's past is pretty clear from the beginning, but what about Clarke ? What has she done ?





	1. The Woods Sisters

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've had in my mind for a long time. It might be because I watch way too many tv shows on prisons. Who knows.  
> Hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think !

I took way too many shit decisions in my life, but I reckon this is the shittiest I’ve ever taken.

My sister and I were both supposed to take over our parents’ business. Normally, this would mean becoming the CEOs of a huge company. Or maybe taking over the parents’ law firm. Sometimes you get their retail store.

For my sister and I, it was a bit different.

We grew up in a gigantic mansion, with a beautiful garden and too many cars to count. I remember taking my friends to my father’s garage, just to impress them. With marble everywhere and a pool that looked like a crystal clear lake in the middle on the forest, our house was considered one of the most beautiful in the city. Our parents used to make a lot of money. Not because of their company, or because of their law firm.

They used to make a lot of money because of drug trafficking.

Garret and Savannah Woods were the king and queen of drug trafficking. Well, before they both got murdered under mysterious conditions when I was nineteen. Their murder is what led both my sister and I to replace them in the drug trafficking business, becoming known among the people as Heda and Trikova.

We were praised as legends among our people. We were seen as fearless, merciless and scarily powerful. Up until three months ago, when we were caught with a ton of crack cocaine and both sent to prison.

Someone snitched on us, and I still don’t understand how we managed to get caught after nine years of practice, when it could have happened when I was nineteen and Anya was twenty-one and both absolutely with no knowledge whatsoever on drugs or drug trafficking.

This is the brief story of how I, twenty-eight years old Heda Lexa Woods, got in this shit-hole of prison. I’ve been here for two days, and I already wish I was free.

Anya and I are sitting in this field, tasting the fresh air we can only get while staying here. We’re both scanning the crowd, trying to understand if there is a top dog in this prison. Nobody seems to be standing out.

And then, I see her.

A pretty short, blond haired girl walks from the small door on the side of the field and takes a deep breath when the air meets her skin. She shuts her ocean blue eyes close for a second, before opening them back up. There are two girls standing on her sides, slightly behind her, and another one about a feet from her. I’m pretty sure this girl is the top dog, because everyone stops for a second the moment she walks in the field and it’s as if the world went silent.

When she just sits on the ground, the women go back to whatever they were doing.

The two girls who were on the top dog’s side sit next to her, while the third girl stands where she appears to belong, right behind the blonde girl. She talks in hushed tones to the two girls, who are scanning the crowd and whispering back to her. One of the girls is staring at me and my sister, making me fear a sort of punishment for new inmates.

Suddenly, the two girls stand up and start walking towards us. They’re both brown haired, but one has brown eyes as well, while the other one as greenish eyes. The one with dark eyes seems to have a darker complexion as well, and a slightly slimmer figure. She walks with a slight limp, leaning a bit with every step she takes.

They stop right in front of us and I can feel Anya tensing next to me. I get up and smile at them.

“You new ?” The brown eyed girl asks.

I nod.

“Yeah, I know.” She smirks. “It wasn’t a real question. Names ?”

“Lexa.” I say. “And this is Anya.”

“It’s not like I care. We use last names here.” She replies.

“Woods, then.” I tell her.

“And your friend ?”

“Woods as well.” Anya says.

“You gay or siblings ?” The green eyed girl asks.

My sister laughs. “Siblings.”

They both nod. “I’m Reyes, this is Blake.” The brown eyed girl says. “There’s someone you need to meet. Come with us.”

As panic invades my body, I find myself following these two strangers to the blond haired girl and her dog friend.

“The Woods sisters.” Reyes says.

“Woods.” The blonde girl repeats. “Drugs then, I guess.”

We both nod.

“See, McIntyre ?” She laughs, looking at her dog friend. “Someone new you can talk to about your love for drugs.”

McIntyre just smiles, but says nothing.

“So, Woods sisters.” Blonde girl says, suddenly turning serious. “I run this prison. I don’t like it when people bother me, so don’t do that. Also, I don’t enjoy threatening people, but I must have gained my power somehow, don’t I ? Here’s an advice. If I tell you to do something ,you do as told. Clear ?”

“Yes.” My sister and I both say. I already dislike this person. This is one of the main reasons why I didn’t want to get caught.

“Good. If you do as I say, you won’t get in trouble. Another thing, I can’t have you both named Woods. Who is the older one… Anya, was it ?”

My sister looks surprised and nods her head towards Blonde Girl. “Don’t look surprised, I know everything about crime. Plus, your family is pretty famous. You’re going to be Woods.”

My sister just nods again.

“Small one ?” The blonde girl says, looking at me. For just a second, I find myself hypnotized by those piercing blue eyes. “Heda, right ?”

She does know everything, then. “Yes.”

“I’m Griffin.” She says. “Clarke Griffin.”

Shit.

_Clarke Griffin._


	2. Clarke Griffin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU guys, so much, for all the wonderful comments ! Hope you keep enjoying it as much as I do !

I feel my sister stop breathing next to me.

“Oh, no.” Griffin says. “Did my name alone scare you ?”

“Nope.” I hear myself saying. “I wasn’t expecting…”

“To find me in here ? To see me as the Top Dog ?” She says, a small smirk on her face. “Maybe you thought it’d be someone like a serial rapist ?”

I look at Anya and she has the “I’m going to kill you” face.

“I just didn’t know what you looked like.” I tell her.

“I see.” Griffin sighs. “Not the first one to tell me I ought to look scarier.”

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say next. When I see Reyes waving us off, I feel a bit relieved. Anya and I walk back to where we were sitting and I feel like I’m breathing again.

“Really ?” Anya looks pretty upset. “Do you want to get us killed ?”

I just laugh at her. “I don’t think she’s going to get us killed because I told her I didn’t know what she looked like.”

“Maybe she thought you were saying that she’s never going to control us because we’re not scared.”

I shrug, looking back at Griffin. How could anyone be scared of her ? She’s so small and looks like a puppy with that hair of hers.

“Don’t.”

“What ?”

“I know that look. You can’t fall for her.”

“What ?” I ask, even more confused than before. “I won’t fall for her. I don’t even like her, Anya.”

“Whatever.” My sister shrugs. “Falling for the Top Dog is not what we need. And falling for Clarke Griffin is definitely not on our agenda.”

“What are you talking about ?”

“Just try and be cautious. We can’t afford you falling for her.” Anya says, before laying down and closing her eyes.

The first few days in prison are not as bad as I thought they were going to be. Apparently, our deal with Clarke means that nobody is allowed to bother us.

One morning, she comes to see me in my block, unusually alone. She knocks on my door before opening it and walking inside.

“Heda, hello.” She says. I stand up abruptly from my bed and look at her in silence. She laughs. “Don’t be scared, I wouldn’t be alone if I were here to hurt you.”

I relax my shoulders and smile at her. “What brought you to T-1 ?”

“I have a task for you.”

I’m pretty sure this is scarier than having her slit my throat in my cell. I really don’t think I’m going to like this task.

“What do you need me to do ?”

“There’s this woman who’s been bothering me since she first got here last year. Every now and then I teach her a lesson, hoping that she’ll stop, but she never does.” She sighs loudly, looking around at the few things I own. “I need you to teach her the lesson this time around. Let’s see if your methods are better than Blake’s or Reyes’. You’ll find her in I-2, Ontari Frost.”

I just stare at her, unable to speak. “No worries, you don’t need to kill her.” She says, before opening the door and turning her back to me. “Not yet.”

The moment she walks away, I run to my sister’s block, T-2, as fast as I can. I find her chatting with other inmates on a small sofa.

“Anya, I need to talk to you.”

I guess she understands the gravity of the situation just by looking at me, because she brings me to her cell and closes the door behind her back.

“What’s up ?”

“Griffin came to see me.” I whisper. I can’t risk anyone hearing me. “She gave me a task.”

Anya looks calm, calmer than me. “What is it ?”

“Apparently, I need to teach a lesson to some girl in I-2.”

“I-2 ?” She doesn’t look calm anymore. “That’s like the worst block here. Lexa, it's... It's the Ice Nation block.”

 Shit. "Of course it is, my usual luck. She said there’s a girl who keeps bothering her and nothing seems to work with her.”

Anya swallows hard. “Do you need to…”

“No.” I shake my head. “She said not yet.”

“Great.” My sister says as she paces around her small cell. “Not yet. Let’s hope the moment never comes.”

“It might, though.” I reply. “And I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to handle this. She said that neither Blake nor Reyes seem to know how to know how to take care of this. How am I supposed to know what to do ? Should I threaten her ? Should I beat her up ? Break her nose ? I don’t fucking know.”

“I can only tell you that you’d better avoid I-2 at any cost. Go find her in the showers or something. Talk to her and then see where that takes you.”

I close my eyes as I sit on Anya’s bed. “How did I end up teaching lessons to people in prison ? I mean, it kind of helps that she's from the Ice Nation but, still...”

My sister sighs, sitting next to me. “We fucked up.”

“I hate that girl.” I tell my sister.

She looks frightened. “Shut the fuck up. We don’t want anyone to hear you say that.”

I laugh at her. “Anya, nobody heard me. We’re in your cell, it’s not like people line up behind your door to listen to what we’re saying. We’re nobodies.”

She still looks upset. “And yet, I don’t feel like getting my ass beaten up because of you.”

“You won’t. I’ll think about what to do with this girl and then we’ll be okay.”

“Yeah.” Anya sighs. “If this is the first task she’s asked you to do… I mean, I figured before giving us actually important tasks she’d have to find out if she can trust us. I’m kind of scared to see what else she has planned for us.”

“Lucky for you, this task is just for me.” I remind her. “We’ll see what she’s planning for you.”

 


	3. The Ice Nation

So I’m spending every second of my time with my sister, trying to get her to show me who this Ontari girl is.

I have never seen her, nor I have any idea what she looks like. I do know where she comes from, I know the Ice Nation is not something you would want to cross in your path, but I guess I’ll have to.

Once again.

Apparently, my sister has an infinite knowledge of criminals and their backgrounds. When we were out, she used to say it made it easier for her to work. I'm not sure how knowing everything about everyone helped her when it came to drugs smuggling, but it's most definitely helping us in here. 

We finally manage to see Ontari one day in the dining room. She is pretty short, with dark hair and brown eyes. She has a lot of keloid scars on her face, as the rest of the people at her table do.

My sister scoots closer to me as we eat our lunches together. “Lexa, that’s the Ice Nation. I know you don’t remember much, but their scars are like an initiation process to get into the gang. And then, the more you have, the more important you are.”

“Yeah…” I can’t believe that this is happening. “I remember that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So I’m supposed to teach a lesson to someone who teaches lessons for a living. Do you think she knows who I am ? She looks pretty young to me.”

“I suppose she doesn’t.”

I don’t know what to say, but we luckily get interrupted by a familiar face.

“Heda, Woods.” Griffin says, sitting in front of us. “Fair warning, when I give you a task, it’s not supposed to take you a century to get it done.”

She’s staring at me with cold eyes and I can almost feel my blood freeze in my veins. “I’m sorry.”

“The first time is always the hardest, Heda.” She says, her eyes still stone cold. “Get it over with.”

She cracks her knuckles before getting up and walking back to her table, where Blake, McIntyre and Reyes are already eating.

“You need to do something, like now.”

“You said that I can’t go to I-2, I most definitely am not going to talk to her in here… I just need to wait and find her alone.”

Except that finding Ontari Frost alone is not as easy as I thought it’d be. She’s always with her gang and I can never seem to find her alone.

I eventually do, about three days after Griffin’s request.

One morning, I get up earlier than usual and decide to take a shower to avoid the morning rush in the bathroom. I almost cry when Ontari gets there about five minutes after I do.

Of course I didn’t expect her to and I have absolutely no idea about what to do next. I finish showering and get dressed, then take a deep breath and pretend to brush my hair till she’s done too. Once Ontari is dressed as well, I know it’s time for me to do something.

“Okay, listen up.” I begin. That’s awful, she’s going to think I’m a joke. “You need to stop whatever you’re doing to bother our Top Dog. This is just a warning, it’ll be much worse if you don’t listen.”

I can tell she thinks I’m a joke by the look in her eyes. “First of all, who the fuck are you ? Second of all, blonde princess is no Top Dog of mine.”

She turns her back to walk away, but I grab her by her right arm and swing her around. She almost looks surprised, but she has fire in her eyes. “What is wrong with you ?”

“I said you need to stop whatever you’re doing, or you’ll regret it.”

She bursts out laughing and then sighs loudly. “You’re a joke.”

Before she can say anything else, or turn around once again I punch her straight in the face. I can’t even believe I just did that and, apparently, nor can she.

“You’re messing with the wrong person.” She spits out, before launching towards me. I somehow manage to move quickly enough, because soon after she’s falling to the ground face first. I turn around and kick her as hard as I can in the guts. Once, then twice and then a third time. When I stop, she slowly gets up while clutching her stomach.

“You need to stop.” I tell her. She looks like she’s about to reply, but I punch her once again, hitting her in the nose. She cries out in pain and raises her hand.

“Alright.” She says, while blood streams down her nose and chin. “You can stop, I got it.”

I almost smile at her, but I can’t. Before walking away, I do what might have been the stupidest thing I’ve done since I got here. “I’m Heda, by the way.”

She’s the one smiling, then. “Heda.” She repeats. “Woods.”

She doesn’t give me a chance to reply and walks away as fast as she can. I need to talk to my sister, but I know I have to see Griffin first. I walk to her unit, hoping to find her awake.

Luckily for me, she’s sitting on a chair in the common area of her cell block, doodling something. She sees me the moment I walk in and abruptly gets up and walks to me. She grabs me by my arm and drags me into her cell, immediately turning on the water on her sink.

“Are you fucking crazy ?” She says, as she signs for me to put both my hands under the stream of lukewarm water. I’m just now realizing that they’re covered in blood. She walks around her cell looking for something and finally comes back to the sink with a washcloth.

“What ? Why ?”

She looks at me with wide eyes as she starts scrubbing my hands. “You were supposed to teach her a lesson, but nobody has to know what you did. Walking around with blood covered hands kind of makes you miss the point.”

I sigh. “Right. Didn’t think about that.”

She looks concerned for a second, but then shakes her head and goes back to scrubbing my hands.

“Did it work ?” She asks after a while.

I shrug. “I guess it did.”

“Shit, Heda.” She breathes out. “You look… Dead.”

I stare at her for a full minute before speaking again. “Did you know that Ontari is part of the Ice Nation ?”

She looks unfazed. “Of course I did.”

“Is it why you sent _me_ to teach her a lesson ?”

“What are you asking me ?” She looks confused.

“You seem to know everything about everyone around this prison, I’m sure you know what happened between the Woods and the Ice Nation.”

She smiles at me. “Of course I do. I know that Nia tried to steal your parents’ drug cartel, but that was like twenty years ago, wasn’t it ?”

I take a deep breath. “I wasn’t talking about that.”

 


	4. Paranoid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story just hit a thousand views, so... Here's the fourth chapter !

“What are you talking about, then ?” She asks, looking at me.

“I guess there is something that you don’t know.” I tell her, before drying my hands and walking towards the door. “I made a mistake with them, that’s all.”

She doesn’t say anything while I open the door and walk away. I keep scratching my hands, as if Ontari’s blood was making them itch. I walk slowly to my sister’s block, and wait for her to wake up in the common area. When she does exit her cell, she looks positively worried about me.

I guess I do look dead.

“Lexa.” She says, taking me to her cell. She makes me sit on her bed and stands right in front of me.

“I did it.” I whisper. “And she knows who I am.”

“How does she know ?” My sister asks.

“Well, I told her.” I shrug. “I told her my name and she kind of recognized me. She knows what happened.”

“Don’t worry. They can’t hurt you in here.”

“Are you being serious ? They can’t hurt me in here ?” I’m almost yelling now, and my sister begs me to lower my voice. “I managed to beat up a girl in the showers and walk around with her blood on my hands and nobody fucking said anything.”

“I know that.” She says and I can tell that she’s getting worried as well. “But we have Griffin now.”

“Griffin ? What do you think that she’s going to do ? She doesn’t even know what happened between them and I. She only knows about what happened between our parents and them. She doesn’t know and I can’t tell her. She’s not going to protect us, Anya. She doesn't care."

A knock on the door makes me jump on the bed. “Who’s there ?” Anya asks.

After a moment we see the door swinging open and Blake standing on the other side. “Woods, there’s a task for you.”

My sister just nods and takes a deep breath. “You’re coming with Reyes and I to the bathroom with Griffin anytime she needs to take a shower. No questions asked.”

“Of course.”

“Starting now.” Blake says and my sister follows her to the shower block. I find myself alone in her cell, waiting for my sister to come back. I keep getting up and sitting back down. I can't focus on anything and I can't stop from fidgeting. 

When she eventually does come back, she looks fine. “I guess she feels threatened by something, or someone.”

I just shrug, not knowing what to say.

“And she said she needs to see you. She’ll come to see you tonight in your cell.”

I can’t anymore with this. “What else could she want now ? I can’t even refuse to do whatever she wants me to do, because she’ll have me shivved if I don’t follow her fucking rules.”

“She might give you a task like mine.”

“Of course she won’t.” I spit out. “She hates me, that’s why she sent me to the Ice Nation. Do you really believe that she didn’t know ?”

“You said she didn’t know when I left like thirty minutes ago, what happened ?” My sister asks, while sitting next to me.

“I had time to think. And I firmly believe that she sent me to Ontari on purpose, to get her to recognize me so that she could fucking kill me.” I get up from her bed and start pacing back and forth.

My sister sighs. “You’re out of your mind.”

“Oh, am I ? Then why else would Griffin have me beat that girl up while you’re standing at the door while sheshowers ? Because she wants me dead !” It’s hard to keep my voice down with all the rage I’m experiencing.

“Why would she want you dead ?”

“I don’t know. As you said, she should have made us do simple tasks, to see if she could trust us… Like she did with you. What she made me do was something else. Either she hoped Ontari would kill me, or she knew the girl would tell damn Nia about me.”

“Lexa, Nia already knows that you’re here.”

“How can she know ?”

“Well, because A. Everybody knows and B. It’s not like we’ve been hiding. She knows what you look like, she’s seen you before.”

“Well, then I guess that Griffin is working with her to have me killed.”

“Lexa, you’re being paranoid. Griffin didn’t know, she told you so. You need to trust her if you want to survive in here. Just fucking talk to her.”

I spend the rest of the day in my cell, thinking about what to tell Griffin. First of all, I need to see what she wants me to do this time.

Once again, she comes to my cell by herself, holding a bottle of what looks like shampoo.

“Two questions.” She says, while walking in. She looks… Different. “Can I sit ?” She asks and I just nod.

“Second question… Do you drink ?” She asks, while handing me the shampoo bottle. I shrug and take a chug, but it tastes terrible. She laughs at my disgusted expression. “I’m sorry, I might be Top Dog, but I can’t really get fancy Champagne in here.”

“It’s okay.”

“Are you okay ?” She asks.

“Yeah.” I shrug and take a second chug. It kind of tastes a tad better now. She takes the bottle from my hands and drinks from it.

“I have a third question.” She looks more serious now and she got my attention. “Were you Costia Roscoe's girlfriend ?”

Now I know that I was right about Griffin. “Yes.”

“That’s why you were so upset this morning. I shouldn’t have sent you to Frost, I’m sorry.”

This takes me a bit by surprise. “You didn’t know ?”

“No.” She says. “I was aware of what the Ice Nation did to her, I knew that she was with her girlfriend when they kidnapped her. I just didn't know that you were her girlfriend. Listen, I know that I’m in here and we all know why… But… I sent you to her because I feel like I can trust you. I don’t know, there’s something about you that screams trust. I wouldn’t have sent you to her if I had known.”

I find myself smiling at her. She smiles back and there’s something about her that makes me… Feel calm and safe.

Of course I never expected to wake up one morning with the Top Dog by my side.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Whoops.


	5. Oak and Blake

Griffin wakes up a couple of minutes after I do and looks positively confused.

“This isn’t my bed.” She says, her voice still hoarse from sleep. “This is not my cell. And you are not there when I usually wake up.”

She yawns and tries to sit up. “You look more confused than I do.” She says after a while.

“Yeah… I guess I am.”

She laughs and I feel weak in the knees. “I believe I forgot to tell you how strong that shitty thing is. It might taste horrible, but it does its job.” She laughs again before slowly getting up.

“Do you mind if I wash my face ? I feel like I might die at any given moment.”

I nod. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Reyes and Blake are going to make fun of me forever.” She says after washing her face. “And I’m warning you, they’re going to ask you all sorts of questions, but don’t fall for it.”

“What kind of question ?”

“Well, they’re going to assume that I came here to fuck you.” She simply says. “I don’t usually visit people by myself. Well, except for when I need to take care of stuff. It doesn’t take me the whole night, though.”

“Why would they think that you came here to fuck me ?”

“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” She smirks. “I need to go, though. I’ll see you around.”

And just like that, she’s out of my cell. It takes me a while to realize what just happened, but I eventually walk to breakfast.

Just as Griffin predicted, Blake and Reyes walk up to me the moment I sit down with my sister.

“How was it, Heda ?” Reyes smirks at me.

“What are you talking about ?”

“Oh, come on.” Blake says. “We know that Griffin came to see you last night, and… Guess what ? She came back this morning ! Like, do you think we’re stupid ?”

“Of course I don’t.” I tell her, taking a sip of my orange juice. “Nothing happened.”

“Heda, you can tell me. Was it any good ?”

“As I said before, nothing happened.” I tell them and I can see Clarke laughing with the corner of my eyes.

“She only fucked one girl in here before you got caught.” Blake says. “It was like six years ago, come on, just tell us something.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Clarke says, now standing behind Blake and Reyes. “Go back to our table, I need to have a little chat with Heda here.”

Reyes giggles as they sit back down at their table.

“Should I go ?” My sister asks. She’s been laughing for the past two minutes, trying to act as put together as possible now that Clarke is here.

“Yeah.”

My sister does as told and Clarke sits in front of me. “Was it fun ?”

“I thought they’d be more persistent.” I tell her.

“Oh, it’s not over, no worries. They stopped because I told them to. You’ll have to deal with this for at least two more weeks.”

“Can I ask you something ?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“How exactly did you manage to get to my cell after the count ?”

She looks surprised. “Oh, that. I figured you already knew. Do you know the male guard with short curly hair who always looks angry ? Well, that’s Blake. Blake’s brother. And Oak ? The super tall, muscular guard ? Blake’s boyfriend. Well, not officially, but there is something up.”

“What the fuck ?”

“I know, it’s a bit weird. And absolutely against the rules… But it gives me access to basically anything I might want. The Oak and Blake thing is a secret, though. Keep it to yourself.”

And we’re back to the stone cold eyes.

I avert my gaze from her, going back to looking at the table. “Of course.”

“I’ll come to see you again tonight. It was fun.” She says. “Maybe I’ll forget the shampoo next time.”

She doesn’t let me reply and walks back to her usual table, where Blake and Reyes are fighting about something. The moment she sits down next to them, they stop. It’s weird to see how frightening she looks to them.

That night, Griffin comes back to see me. Still alone, but with no bottle of shampoo this time. She asks before sitting on my bed and I’m weirded out by the way she behaves around me.

I see her with other people. They all look like puppies when they’re next to her. She talks and everyone listens. She says to do something and people just do it, no questions asked. Even her eyes look different now that she’s with me.

“I’d like to get to know you better.” She says after a moment of silence.

“You know everything about everyone, Griffin.” I tell her.

“I know felonies. I know the criminal past. I know stuff that everyone could know with a bit of digging. I’d like to get to know the real you better. And call me Clarke, please.”

“I thought only Blake and Reyes could do that.”

“And now you can too.”

“Alright. I shouldn’t have to tell you, but you can call me Lexa.”

She smiles. “Heda was starting to be a bit too formal.”

“So, Clarke… What would you like to know about me ?”

She thinks about it for a second. “Do you actually like drugs ?”

“Do I like drugs ? Well, no, not really.” I tell her. “I have never done them, nor I plan to…”

“I see.” She smiles. “Me neither, which is weird, considering that I’ve been here since I was eighteen.”

“How long ago was that ?”

She nudges me in the ribs, lightly, playfully. “I’ll have you know that I am younger than you are. It was eight years ago.”

She was a kid. “Guess we both chose the wrong life at a young age.”

“We sure did.” She looks sad now and I’m not sure why. “I have something that I’d like to ask you, but I don’t want to upset you.”

“You can ask and maybe I’ll answer if I feel like it… If I don’t, I won’t.”

She nods her head several times. “Alright, then… What happened to your girlfriend ?”

Most definitely not what I expected. “Well, as you know, we were kidnapped. Her family was quite prestigious, the Ice Nation needed a lot of money after one of their stunts backfired. They knew that her family would pay a lot of money to get their daughter back. Of course getting me as well was seen as a major help in stealing our drug cartel, now that it belonged to my sister and I. The plan was to kidnap Costia and I, kill me and then get the money for Costia. They tortured us for days, got a huge amount of money to let the both of us go, and had to accept a deal that included freeing me as well.” I explain. “Costia was… Different after the incident. We tried staying together, but it wasn’t right anymore. It had changed the both of us and she didn’t feel like she belonged here. She moved three months after the abduction and never looked back. I only know that she works for a big pharmaceutical company now.”

“It turned out better that other abduction stories’ I’ve heard.” She says, smiling softly. “Are you okay now ?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “It was hard at first, but I got through it. I’m glad we both managed to survive.”

 

 

 

 


	6. Surviving

The first six months at Mount Weather Correctional have passed without any major incident. Clarke’s tasks for me got a bit lighter after Ontari’s lesson and I’m kind of glad. She’s avoiding anything Ice Nation related when it comes to my job and she always sends either Blake or Reyes. My sister became kind of her strong arm, she’s there whenever Clarke has to take care of someone.

Clarke comes to see me almost every night, sometimes she brings her shampoo, sometimes she doesn’t. I’m pretty sure she’s been trying to avoid me for the last couple of weeks and it’s kind of hurtful.

I don’t understand if it’s something I did or said, all I know is that I wait up for her every single night, but she never shows.

She eventually does.

Something feels off when she opens my cell door and walks inside crying her eyes out. I have waited for weeks for her to show up and this is most definitely not what I was expecting.

“What happened ?” I ask her, suddenly worried.

“I need to talk to you.”

Something’s most definitely off.

“You might have noticed that I’ve been avoiding you.” She says, looking at me.

“Yes, I have.”

“Well, there’s a simple explanation. I am afraid that people might understand that I have feelings for you.”

“You what ?” I almost spit on myself.

“Oh come on, Lexa. You knew it.”

“I what now ? I had no idea.”

“Oh, shit.” She covers her face with both her hands. “This couldn’t get any worse.”

“You know I have feelings for you too.”

“What ? No, you don’t.”

“Clarke, we kissed. You said we couldn’t.”

_The nights in Lexa’s cell were a kind of tradition neither Clarke nor Lexa were willing to give up. For four months, they spent every single night together. Getting drunk, talking until the sunset, sometimes just being there together._

_“Sometimes I get tired of being Top Dog.” Clarke said one night._

_“Why is that ?”_

_“Because I always have to think about other people first, I need to think about drugs, and people getting beaten up… I am tired. I have nothing anymore.”_

_“Yeah, you’re surviving, like I am.”_

_“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving, don’t we deserve better than that ?”_

_“Maybe we do.”_

_And they were closer. Closer than they’d ever been before. Almost touching, almost feeling._

_The truth was that they were touching._

_Their souls were intertwined, even if they didn’t know it yet._

_Their hearts were like two pieces of the same puzzle, fitting perfectly together._

_And then they did touch. Slowly, but inevitably. Their lips touched slightly, almost in slow motion. Their eyes were closed, they were both breathing hard, as to breathe each other in. Then Lexa’s hand was on Clarke’s cheek, caressing it lightly._

_They became one thing. Souls intertwined, hearts fitting together, lips touching._

_Clarke was the first one to pull away._

_“We can’t, you know we can’t.”_

_She walked away that night, with tears in her eyes._

“Yeah, you’re right. Anyways, people cannot know.”

“Why, though ? I tried talking to you, but you wouldn’t listen. And there’s nothing to know about.”

“I couldn’t listen ! People cannot know, I can’t have a weakness.” She says, breathing hard. “You should know.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She raises her hand, shaking her head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” I’m not sure I actually know, though.

“I am seen as strong and powerful because I don’t have weaknesses, Lexa. I have nothing and nobody to use as a threat against me. They cannot touch me.” She explains, avoiding my gaze.

“So you’re scared that they might take you power away from you. I thought you were tired.”

“I’m scared they might hurt you to get back at me.” She takes a deep breath. “You are my weakness right now, even if they don’t know.”

Well, this is most definitely not what I was expecting.

For the first time in a little bit over a month, I kiss her. It’s the second time since that night in my cell and it still makes me feel the same way. I know it makes her feel something as well.

“There’s no point in pretending that this never happened. We can keep it a secret if it’ll make you feel better, but… They will find out. They always do.”

“What do you think that we should do ?” She asks, grabbing my hand to hold.

“I’m not sure. You’re the Top Dog, you decide.” I tell her. “I’m pretty sure that if they find out that you’ve been hiding whatever this is… They’ll realize that you’re scared. If you own it, though… They’ll see how strong you actually are.”

She seems convinced by my words and smiles at me. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No… I shouldn’t have avoided you.” She says. “So… You have feelings for me ?”

I sigh. “Really, Clarke ?”

“I love it when you call me that.”

“That’s your name !”

“I’m aware.” She says, the biggest smile on her face. “You pronounce it in a different way.”

“You’re weird.”

We spend the rest of the night in my cell, just talking, holding each other. I never imagined by nights in prison would look like this. We both fall asleep right before dawn, in each other’s arms. The next morning, we confidently walk to breakfast hand in hand, not bothered by the looks we receive.

“You did it !” Reyes greats us. “Finally.”

“You shut up.” Clarke says, her stone cold eyes fixed on Reyes.


	7. Terribly Wrong

But Clarke was terribly wrong.

Us being together wasn’t a threat for my safety, but for hers.

Because after about a month of us being out, Blake comes running to my cell. She looks distressed and doesn’t bother to knock on the door before opening it and running in my cell.

“What the fuck?”

“Someone got to Clarke.”

And my heart stops.

For a second, I can’t even move. Blake has to physically grab me and get me up from my bed. She even slaps me once to get me to snap out of it.

“What happened? Where is she?”

 “She asked us for a shower alone, I don’t even know why she’d ask something like that. She never does. Apparently someone heard her asking us for privacy and got to her. They got to her and beat her up pretty badly.”

I feel like crying, but I can’t. Not right now. “Where is she?”

“They had to take her to the hospital.” Blake says. She looks defeated. I know she feels like she failed Clarke.

“The hospital? What the fuck?”

“I know, they never do. Raven found her and she was covered in Clarke’s blood when I saw her.”

“Shit, fuck, shit.” I start pacing back and forth, I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“This is fucked up.” She whispers. “We should have never left her alone.”

“You couldn’t have known.” I tell her. “I used to think that Clarke didn’t actually need protection and that she had you guys just for show. I guess I was wrong.”

“Do you have any idea who might have been?” Blake asks after a while.

“No, I have no…” Except that I do. “I’m pretty sure I know who it was.”

She looks perplexed. “Who was it?”

“The Ice Nation.”

“But why would they… Oh.” She closes her eyes. “Still? Haven’t they done enough to you?”

“It’s never enough for them.” I tell her, my voice flat. “Do you think you could…”

“Yeah, I already asked. Lincoln went with her and he is keeping in contact with my brother, we’ll know something soon enough.”

I’m trying to calm down, but it’s hard to breathe when I have no idea what happened or if she’s going to be okay. I can’t believe I let this happen, I should have known better. I keep walking back and forth until Octavia’s brother comes to look for us.

He makes sure that nobody is listening before telling us what he knows.

“She’s going to be fine.” He says and I can finally breathe again. “They broke her right wrist and elbow, she suffered an orbital fracture, they split both her lips open and she has some internal bleeding. The internal bleeding wasn’t too severe, so she won’t need surgery. Reyes was covered in blood because the fractures on her face were bleeding quite heavily, but it’s nothing major. Oak said she’ll be back to medical tomorrow.”

I am breathing again, but this doesn’t ease my anxiety at all. “Do they know who it was?”

He shakes his head. “We’re currently checking the security cameras, but they were obscured. Whoever did this, didn’t want to get caught. It was a planned attack, most definitely not something planned last minute.”

He walks away and I’m once again alone with Octavia.

“How could it be planned if she’s never alone?” She asks after a while.

“Maybe they were waiting for her to be alone. They were probably prepared to strike at any moment.” I tell her, shrugging.

“That’s a possibility.” She sighs. “Don’t worry, though. She’ll be okay. You’ll see her tomorrow, once she gets back in medical.”

“They don’t let us in there.”

“Yeah, you seem to forget that we have two officers on our side.”

I smile weakly at her and the rest of the day seems endless. I try reading, but I can’t take my mind off Clarke. I keep thinking about her getting beaten up in the showers, alone. I keep wondering how scared she might have been.  I keep thinking about those bastards from the Ice Nation who had the nerve to hurt her.

Octavia stays in my cell block till I go to bed, and I can see her sitting in the common area when I close my cell door behind my back.

“Clarke made me promise I’d protect you if something were to happen to her.”

I don’t even have the strength to tell her that I do not need to be protected, but it’s actually nice to have someone next to me.

Of course I can’t sleep.

The moment I close the door behind my back, I start crying. I didn’t want Octavia to see me like this, I can’t show my weakness to her. When Clarke broke down and said that people couldn’t know that she had feelings for me, I didn’t even think that people might hurt her to get back at me. I thought my war with the Ice Nation was over. I really believed that sending me my girlfriend’s head in a freaking box would be enough but, apparently, I was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

I have nothing they might want now. I’m in prison, I am not running the drug cartel anymore, I have no power in here. Why would they do that?

The only thing that keeps me afloat is the plan to avenge Clarke. I know that she’s going to be fine, but the Ice Nation is going to pay for this.

I couldn’t make them pay for what they did to me in the past, but this is different. I don’t have my people to protect now. I don’t have to think about the greater good. I don’t have a business to take care of anymore. Or, at least, I won’t have to take care of it for at least eight years.

They hurt someone I care about, and they’re going to pay for it.


	8. Trouble

“Are you sure that this won’t get you any trouble?”

Oak sighs for the hundredth time since he came to get me about ten minutes ago. “Stop worrying. You won’t have much time there, but I promised O that I’d bring you there.”

I’m shaking by the time we reach the medical compound. He tells me that Clarke is in the last room on the right and we walk past much more injured inmates than I expected. When we finally get to her room, I take a deep breath and walk in.

Clarke is laying on a bed, her whole body covered with a thin white sheet, her eyes closed.

“Hey, it’s me.”

Her eyes snap open as I sit on the stool next to her bed. Her right eye is so swollen you can barely see it. I’m surprised she can actually keep it open, it’s full of blood and the under eye is badly bruised.

“Hey there.”

Her voice is weak as she tries to give me a tired smile.

“How are you feeling?” I ask her, caressing her shoulder lightly.

“I’ve been better.” She says. “I’ve been worse as well, though.”

“I’m sorry that this had to happen to you. Was it… Was it them?”

She says nothing and I know that my assumptions were right. Of course they were.

“Please, don’t do anything stupid.”

I shake my head. “I made a mistake with Costia, and I won’t make the same with you.”

We talk for a little while before Oak comes to get me. I kiss Clarke on the head before leaving, promising to talk to both Blake and Reyes.

I keep thinking about the Ice Nation as we walk back to my cell block. Unsurprisingly, I find Octavia and Raven waiting for me in my cell, with hope filled eyes.

“So?”

“She’s… Fine, I guess. I was right, though… It was the Ice Nation.”

Octavia looks like she could self-combust at any given moment. “Those fucking bastards.”

“What are we going to do about it?” Reyes asks.

“Blood must have blood.” I whisper. They both look like they might kill a man. “There are too many people from the Ice Nation, though… And only three of us. Well, four. My sister is most definitely going to want to help us. Do you know who usually does the dirty work for their boss?”

“Yeah.” Blake says. “It’s usually that Ontari girl and a girl named Echo. They’re like her puppies.”

“Then I guess we’re up against them. We’ll wait until we can find them alone and we’ll strike.”

“Sounds good to me.” Blake says and Reyes just nods. “When is Griffin coming back to general?”

“She’ll be back tomorrow morning. Let’s hope this place won’t go to shit now that she’s not here.”

“It won’t. We’ll make sure of it.”

“Alright. Good. Good news at last.” I sigh. “I’ll see you later.”

I get up, but Reyes grabs me by the arm. “We can’t let you leave.”

She looks scary, as if her life depended on keeping me there. “Oh, come on.”

Blake shakes her head. “We promised Clarke, long before she was attacked.”

“What do you mean?”

Blake looks at Reyes, who shrugs and then nods. “The day after the Frost beating… She took us both to her cell and told us that nobody was to harm you. She said that she was the one in charge when it came to your protection but if something were to happen to her, we’d have to take care of it. We promised we wouldn’t let you out of our sight and we won’t.”

“I don’t need protection.”

Reyes scoffs. “Yeah, and neither did she. Look, everyone needs protection around here. I know we look like her bodyguards, but we’re her friends first. We want what’s best for her.”

I know there’s no point in fighting them on this matter. I know they won’t let me go.

That’s why we spend the rest of the afternoon walking around together, with people constantly asking us about Clarke.

That night, it’s Reyes’ turn to sit in the common area while I sleep. It feels a tad pointless, considering that other inmates can’t move during the night, but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m greeted early in the morning by a tired looking Clarke knocking on my door. I haven’t gotten much sleep, but I suddenly feel refreshed the moment I see her.

“Hey, love.”

She gets closer to me and flinches when her broken orbital bones touch my face. She looks sad because she can’t kiss me and won’t be able to for quite a bit of time.

“How are you feeling?” I ask her.

“Excited to be back.” She smiles. “I know I was out for two days, but it was super boring.”

“People have been asking about you non-stop since they found out.” I tell her. “Your cell is full of gifts, if you want to call those things gifts. You also got a couple of new shampoo bottles.”

“Oh, those are my favourites.” She smiles. “Listen, I need to talk to you.”

I’m getting kind of worried. “Sure.”

We sit on my bed and she looks distressed. “I know that you’re planning on going against the Ice Nation and I can’t let you do that.”

“I won’t hear this again. They hurt you.”

“Yes, but they’ll kill you if you go against them.”

“They won’t kill me.” I protest. “People would know it was them.”

“Do you really believe that they haven’t killed people in the past and got away with it?” She asks, her left eyebrow raised.

“I know they did.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” She says.

“I made a mistake with Costia, I couldn’t avenge her because of the business, but I won’t let them get away with this too.” I tell her, my voice firm.

She takes a deep breath. “I made a mistake, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter nine will be about what brought Clarke to prison.  
> Also, I wanted to thank all the people who left nice comments, they're greatly appreciated!


	9. Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited about this chapter. Please let me know what you think about it!

“What are you talking about?”

Clarke looks worried. Like I’ve never seen her before. “You do know why I’m here, don’t you?”

We’ve never talked about this before. I didn’t think it was necessary. Everyone knows about the Griffin trial. It was famous worldwide, they talked about it for years after she was convicted. I’m pretty sure they even made a documentary about it.

“I do, of course I do.”

“Yes, everyone knows my story. Of course, when a seventeen year old girl murders thirty-five people and badly injures nine more I guess it can’t be forgotten, can it?”

I don’t even know if I’m supposed to say anything.

“Do you regret it? Is it why you said you made a mistake?”

“No, I don’t regret it. I did it for a reason. The turnout was a mistake, though. I didn’t plan to kill all those people, Lexa.” She takes a deep breath. “I said I did. In all my trials, in all my testimonies, in all my interviews. Even after I was convicted. I was sentenced to life without parole, I was tried as an adult even if I was still seventeen when it happened… Because what I did was horrifying. I made a terrible mistake that night.”

_Clarke Griffin, the infamous princess murderer, was sentenced today to life without parole for the murders of thirty-five people, and the attempted murder of nine more. The young offender, only seventeen years old, pleaded guilty to thirty-five counts of first degree murder and nine counts of attempted murder._

_Her last words in front of the court this morning were:_

_“Reality sucks.”_

“What happened?”

“It was a party. At my boyfriend’s house.

An old friend of mine was there as well. I was wasted, completely out of my mind. I was too young to drink and too drunk to drive. I had a fight with this old friend of mine, he was the reason why my father was killed years prior. I wanted to make him suffer, as much as I did. Nobody in his life mattered as much as my father did to me, so I decided I’d take his life. I locked him in the kitchen, after opening up all the stoves. The windows were blocked from the outside. The music at the party was too loud for anyone to hear him scream. I walked in the garden to watch him die, but then something I hadn’t thought of happened. Someone got the door open and they were smoking a cigarette. The kitchen was small, Wells was already passed out on the ground, the gas was already filling up the room.

It wasn’t planned.

The explosion wasn’t planned.

But it happened. A stupid cigarette was thrown to the ground when the person saw Wells on the floor and the whole damn house exploded.

There were forty-six people at that party, including me. Thirty-five died. The ten survivors, were all badly injured. I was the one with less damage, of course. I was the only one in the garden.”

I can’t believe she’s just now telling me this. “I made a mistake and it cost the lives of thirty-five people. I meant to hurt one, and I murdered thirty-four more in the process.”

“Why didn’t you tell the prosecutors that?”

“Because I did kill them, Lexa. It wouldn’t have changed anything. Plus, I need to pay for what I’ve done.”

“Yeah, but you were intoxicated, young… You made a mistake, it could have been ruled as manslaughter, I don’t know…”

“Nothing would have changed.” She says, her voice calm and flat. “I killed thirty-five people, twenty-nine of them died on the spot, six of them died later at the hospital after suffering terribly, nine of them live with chronic pain, scars from the flames, injuries that can never be forgotten.”

I don’t know what to say.

“Nobody knows about this. There are so many versions of my story that I’ve heard since I was here. My personal favourite is that I apparently got annoyed by the loud music and felt the need to kill everyone at the party.” She laughs. “Seems fair. Anyways, I walked away on my feet after the explosion. I was the only one able to do that. I was the only one able to walk to the ambulance. I was the only one. The only suspect, the only murderer, the only with a motive. I didn’t even have to confess, they knew that the explosion was intentional. They knew where it started, how it started, why it started. The moment they connected me being outside and Wells being in the kitchen where everything started they knew it was me. And they were right. My mother payed the best lawyers in town to somehow save me. How could she, though? I never said it wasn’t me. It was impossible to save me.” She looks extremely calm. She’s never told anyone about this, but she’s been sitting on this story for the past eight years, it was time for it to come out.

“Have you seen your mother since?”

She smiles. “She comes to see me every week. She never fails. Every single time she gets here she tells me how she’s going to find a way to get me out of here. I don’t have the energy to tell her that I’m going to be in here till the last of my living days. It was hard at the beginning. I was… In a weird state of mind. I never talked, I only answered questions with short, calculated answers. I think the beginning of my sentence here was what made me Top Dog. You see, in movies the newbie has to pull some freaky stunt in order to be respected and become Top Dog. In my case, it was a bit different. People respected me. I was careless, fearless, loveless. I was so freakishly pale, with deep dark circles under my eyes. I always looked like I was about to kill someone. I was so young and, yet, so scary. So powerful.”

 

 


	10. Alone

Life in prison has been smooth since Clarke’s accident.

I was worried it might make her look weak, but her past seems to be stronger than a single beating.

Octavia, Raven and I are still trying to organize our attack on the Ice Nation, but I supposed they’re expecting it. They are always walking around in small groups, never once letting their guard down.

I can’t blame them, though. We are the same. None of us ever walks alone. Only Clarke does whenever she comes to visit me at night, but we know that she’s the only inmate who can do that after lockdown. Also, having both Blake and Oak there kind of eases my anxiety.

I won’t let Clarke get hurt again.

She’s changed quite a bit after her confession to me. It’s as if her confession had sent us to a different dimension of trust. After all, I’m the only one who knows the truth. I’m the only one who knows that she made a mistake.

I remember when the news first came out. I had just started working with my sister after our parents’ death and I was just starting to understand the criminal world. I felt too young and I was, in fact, too young.

I had to work with many people, starting to gain their trust, showing them that we were as good as our parents were. I think I never got to see anyone younger than me.

Then her case went all over the news. She was seventeen, two years younger than I was, and had committed and horrifying crime.

It was hard for the people of our city to accept the truth. Many argued that she was too young to commit such a vicious crime. Others said that her father’s death had completely shut down her brain, making her unbelievably violent and reckless.

“How’s your sister?” Clarke asks me, putting down her book. She’s laying down on my bed as I’m tidying up my bookshelf.

“She’s always the same.” I tell her. “She doesn’t speak too much, but usually makes it known when she’s having trouble.”

“Yeah.” Clarke replies. “I noticed pretty early that she’s not really a talker. I haven’t had a chance to ask her how she feels about us.”

“Oh, don’t bother.” I sigh. “She’ll tell you that it’s okay as long as I’m safe and will probably threaten you if you hurt me. You know, the usual sibling thing.”

Clarke looks down at the ground. “I wouldn’t really know…”

I stop what I was doing and look at her. “Do you wish you had a sibling?”

She shrugs. “When I was little, I wanted someone to play with. My family is pretty wealthy and it was difficult for me to find real friends growing up. I always thought that having a sibling would make things easier. When I was a teenager, I knew that people would be my friends because I was rich. Of course I didn’t really get to experience the friendship thing that much. Octavia and Raven are good friends, but I guess having a sibling feels different.”

I sit down next to her. “I believe that you can make a family out of your friends. I had no friends in the outside world, I knew that people would befriend me just because of the drug cartel, so it was just Anya and I against the world.”

“I see the way she looks at you.” Clarke says after a while. “I’m pretty sure that she’d give up her life for you if it ever came to a choice. And I believe that you’d do the same.”

I nod. “Yeah, without a doubt.”

“That must feel nice.”

“It does.” I admit. “But it also feels terrifying most of the time, considering the world we used to live in and the world we live in now. I know that people, evil people, know that harming someone you love is the best way to get to someone. I’m always scared that they might hurt her, or you.”

She looks at me with loving eyes. “I know that feeling pretty well.”

I don’t know why, but it feels like this conversation came to an end. I look at her resuming her reading, then get up and finish tidying up.

That night, we go to dinner together and talk for a while with Anya, Octavia and Raven.

“I’m so sick of this shitty food.” Clarke says as we’re eating. “I wish I could go to my favourite restaurant in town and have some nice steak with roasted potatoes.”

“The thing I miss the most is white chocolate cake.” Octavia says. “I used to love it so much. It was the only junk food I treated myself with.”

Raven laughs. “You exercise freak. I kind of miss fried chicken with waffles. That was my go to food.”

Anya looks disgusted. “Guys, I’m with Octavia on this one. But I was more a double chocolate and caramel cupcake girl.”

“Yeah, half of our patrimony went on those terrible cupcakes that Satan himself sent to Earth.” I laugh.

“You shut up, kale girl.”

Clarke, Octavia and Raven all look disgusted by my sister’s last statement. “No, please. No kale.”

“It’s really good, okay?”

“I really thought that you were normal.” Octavia says. “I might be an exercise freak, but kale tastes like dry paper.”

“Kale is amazing and incredibly versatile.” I reply.

Raven closes her eyes. “Please tell me that you’re not a green smoothie type of person.”

Octavia smacks her on the head. “You know that I adore green smoothies!”

“Yeah, doesn’t change the fact that they’re fucking disgusting.”

“Amazing.” I whisper. “Green smoothies are my life.”

Clarke looks like she’s about to vomit. “What did I get myself into this time?”

 


	11. Forever

"You do know that I’m here forever, right?” Clarke asks me one morning.

 

“Of course I do.” I reply, not even looking up from my book.

“Do you know what that means?” She asks, her voice sounding worried.

I simply nod.

“Can you look at me?”

I take a deep breath before closing my book and setting it on the floor. “What are you asking me?”

“We’re together, right?” She asks.

I look at her for a second, she looks preoccupied by something. “Yes, we are together.”

“Right.” She sighs. “But I’ll be here forever.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

She looks almost weirded out by how calm I am. “What does that mean for us?”

“Clarke.” I take her hand. “My trial will be pretty long and I might be sentenced to life in prison. We're talking about a minimum of eight years.”

“You have damn good lawyers.” Clarke replies.

“Yes, I do. My parents’ drug cartel is very famous and they’ve been trying to stop it for ages. They caught both Anya and I, they won’t let us go that easily.” I explain.

She thinks about it for a second. “Let’s say you were to get out, what would that mean for us?”

“Why are you so damn insecure today?” I ask her, sighing loudly. “I am not going to get out for at least the next ten years.”

“I want to know what might happen to us with you out of here.” She says, her voice going back to the first days of stone cold Clarke.

“I don’t know.” I tell her. “There’s no way for me to know. We just have to wait and see. All I can tell you right now is that I want to be with you.”

Her shoulders relax a bit and she looks a lot calmer. She stays still for a while, then goes back to her sketch. I look at her for a moment before going back to my book. I still don’t feel okay.

The rest of the days goes smoothly, but I still feel the need to talk to my sister about what happened this morning.

“She’s worried, it’s normal.” My sister comments once I finish my story.

“But why would she be worried?”

My sister laughs. “Because she loves you?”

“She doesn’t…” I stop myself. “Do you think that she loves me? She never said so.”

“Does she really need to say it for it to be true?”

I don’t really know how to answer that. “I mean…”

“Do you love her?”

“I don’t know.” I tell her, taken aback by the question.

“I think you do know.” Anya replies. “I suppose it’s hard to admit it.”

“It’s not hard.”

“Except it is, Lexa.” My sister interjects. “Love is a difficult feeling to accept, even more so considering the situation in which this love was born.”

“I’m sure she’d tell me.”

“Maybe she doesn’t know yet.” Anya shrugs. “I mean, she’s had a difficult life. Nobody wanted to be her friend, everyone wanted her money… Maybe she finds it hard to recognize love.”

“She did know when she had feelings for me, though. And she talked to me about it.”

“Yeah, I wonder how long it took her to realize that she did.”

“So… You think she loves me.”

“I do, and I’m pretty sure that you love her too.”


	12. Venom

It’s past lunchtime.

I’m sitting on Clarke’s bed.

We’re talking about high school.

We’re laughing, forgetting where we are.

An alarm goes off and we keep talking, unfazed.

We hear people running around, yelling and laughing.

We don’t care about whatever is going on, we’re just being us.

But, when the alarm stops, the usual voice starts talking and it hits us and we get back to prison.

“Attention compound, attention compound. This is a code black, prisoners are not allowed to move around. Officers will lock every cell block, please stay where you are.”

Code black means that somebody died.

Lockdown means that we are not allowed to move.

Usually, when a lockdown occurs, we’re all supposed to go back to our own cells. When a death happens, they want us to stay where we are, to minimize movements around the block. Clarke and I look at each other, and we wait.

We don’t know where Anya is. We don’t know where Octavia is. We don’t know where Raven is.

And there’s nothing that we can do about it, we just wait. We get up and walk to the block’s door, hoping to have either Blake or Oak lock our door. Today, we’re not lucky, because another officer comes and locks the door. We stay right where we are, hoping to understand what happened.

We realize soon enough that we’re alone in her cell block, S-1. Considering that it’s the middle of the day and people usually prefer to be outside, there’s nothing weird about this.

“It might be an officer.” Clarke says, after a while.

“It might.” I nod. “It might also be one of us.”

“Yes. Let’s be positive for once and remember that there are hundreds of people in here.”

She’s right. I always forget that this place is huge and that not everything revolves around us.

Hours go by and we’re still here. Clarke tried to call for Octavia and Raven, who are both in S-2, but neither of them answered. One of their block mates said that they both left after lunch and didn’t come back. Usually, they enjoy going to the yard and scare people. We’re hoping that this is the case today as well. We have no way to call for my sister, though. T-2 is kind of far from here. Clarke and I keep walking back and forth, naming people who might have died. People who had reasons to die. Officers, prisoners, anyone. We keep telling ourselves that we were punished enough for… Well, for being Clarke Griffin and Lexa Woods.

After what feels like three days, we finally see Oak running to us.

“Finally.” He whispers. “I thought you were in T-1 and then came looking for the both of you everywhere.”

“What the fuck happened?” Clarke asks, going back to her scary self.

“The damn Ice Nation women attacked your people after lunch.” He says and my heart stops. I can see Clarke panicking next to me.

“Please tell me that the code black is about one of them.”

Oak just looks at her.

“Lincoln. Fucking talk to me!”

He shakes his head, looking miserable. I can’t even talk.

“Who is it?” Clarke asks, impatient. I don’t know if she looks more angry or hurt.

“Anya Woods.”

And I can’t feel my heart disintegrating in my chest. I can’t breathe and my legs can’t hold me anymore. I see that Lincoln keeps talking, but I can’t hear a word of what he’s saying. Clarke is looking at me, squeezing my hand like crazy. One moment later, I see Lincoln walking away, and Clarke is now forcibly taking me to her cell. I somehow manage to sit on her bed, but I feel completely lost. Clarke is talking to me, but I feel like I’m in another world.

I feel like floating away and going wherever my sister is.

I’m not sure about what I feel like right now. It’s difficult to explain and even more difficult to understand. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel like my world collapsed the moment Lincoln said my sister’s name. This makes no sense.

I feel angry. I feel like this wasn’t meant to happen. It makes no sense. This can’t be happening. I am sitting still, even if I feel like I’m being thrown up in the air by some weird force that doesn’t belong to me. I find it hard to breathe, and my heart is racing in my chest, making it difficult to concentrate. I keep thinking about what Lincoln said, about the words he pronounced after saying my sister’s name. I keep thinking about how two, simple words completely shattered my heart and made my world meaningless.

My sister was my rock, and has been my strength from the moment I was born. I am not ready to live in a world where she doesn’t exist. This can’t be real.

“Clarke.”

Clarke looks like she might kill someone, which seems fitting. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

I brush her off. “What did Lincoln say?”

“He said….” She trails off. “He said that it was your sister.”

“Yes.” I nod. “He said something else, though. After that.”

I’m surprised to hear how calm my voice sounds, considering that I can feel my brain frying in my head.

“He said that Octavia and Raven were injured as well.” She says, and her voice feels like venom.

I quickly get up. Before I realize it, I’m screaming my heart out. Clarke is suddenly next to me, trying to calm me down. My legs can’t hold me anymore and I’m falling to the ground. I start crying then, for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

I wake up in the middle of the night, alone in Clarke’s bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry?


	13. Bedtime Stories

I know I’m supposed to be by her side, but these beds are so little and I need Lexa to rest.

Or maybe I don’t know how to be next to her right now. I’m afraid I won’t know what to tell her, how to reassure her, what to do to make her feel a little bit better.

I need to take care of this. I won’t let Anya’s murder pass by and let whoever did this live with no consequences.

I’m sitting on one of the sofas, a book in hand. I’ve been staring at the same page for I believe four hours when Lexa comes shuffling through my cell’s door.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, scratching her eyes.

“I went to look for Octavia and Raven, but they’re in the hospital and I can’t see them until they’re back.”

Lexa simply nods. “Why are they in prison?”

I look at her and sign for her to sit next to me. She does and looks at me like a child would look at their parent before a bedtime story.

“They both got here after I did.” I explain. “Well, Octavia is two years younger than me, so it kind of makes sense. Raven got here about eight or ten months after me. Forgery and fraud are her main crimes. She used to make fake id’s on one side, while she created viruses that infected like all the computers in the city.”

“That sounds like Raven.” Lexa comments.

“Yeah, she’s really good with technology.” I reply. “For what concerns Octavia… Her crime was a little bit more violent. When she was sixteen… Her mother was killed. She’s suffered a lot because of it and kept looking for the person who’d done it, wanting to take revenge on them. It took her almost two years to find the man who had murdered her mother. She tied him to a chair and forced him to look while she cut his wife’s throat. She then killed him as well.”

“Oh.” Lexa simply says. “I didn’t take Octavia for a murderer.”

“She’s not.” I tell her. “I mean, technically she is. But I believe she is more a person who’d do anything for the people she loves.”

“I am the same.” She comments.

“I know.” I quickly say, grabbing her hand to hold. “But, please… I know you want to avenge Anya and I get it, I really do. I know I don’t technically have siblings, but both Octavia and Raven are like sisters to me, I don’t know what I’d do if anything was to happen to them.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” She asks, looking perplexed.

“Don’t do anything stupid, love.” I tell her. “Please.”

“I won’t let this go unnoticed. I am so tired of the Ice Nation doing whatever the fuck they want all the time and always get away with it.”

“Can you please let me handle it?” I ask her. “Murder and attempted murder charges could change your life.”

“Wouldn’t they change yours as well? Also, why do you think that I would want to murder anyone?”

“They wouldn’t change it because I am already going to spend the rest of my life in here. And it’s because I know you and I can tell by the look in your eyes that you want whoever murdered your sister to suffer the same fate.”

“A charge more might not change your life, but they might kill you as well. How would that play in your plan?” She asks, one eyebrow raised.

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “If the choice ever came to me dying or you spending the rest of your life in prison, I’d die a hundred times. Also, we still don’t know who it was.”

She looks at me with pursued lips. “That’s insane.” She breathes hard. “And we do know who it was, come on.”

“Is it?” I ask her. “Love does weird things to people, Lexa.”

For a minute or so, she just looks at me. I’m still holding her hand with mine, afraid she might run away.

“It does.” She agrees after a while.

“Can you please, please…” I realize now that my voice is cracking and my eyes are getting watery. “I can’t lose you.”

For a second, I’m afraid that I might have hurt her, because she looks like she was just stabbed in the stomach.

“You are not losing me. Not now, not ever.” She states. “I am not going to promise, because life is unpredictable, one moment you’re alive and the next you’re lying on the floor, dead… We’re in prison, one of the most unpredictable environments in the world… What I can tell you is that I love you and I know that nothing is ever going to change my feelings for you. Whatever happens, I will never stop loving you.”

While she speaks, I try to stop my body from shaking too hard.

“I love you.” I whisper. “I really do. And I can’t believe that I found what looks like the love of my life here in prison. I was sentenced when I was eighteen, and I thought that real love was something that I wouldn’t get to experience… And yet.”

She smiles at me and leans it to kiss me lightly on the lips.

“I did talk to Lincoln about this whole thing. He was the one telling me that both Octavia and Raven are in the hospital. They should get back in around two or three days, he says they’re both going to be fine.” I tell her. “I asked him if he knew what had happened, he said that they’re still looking for whoever did this, but… It looked like an Ice Nation job.”

“I am hoping that both Octavia and Raven will be fine, I can’t fathom the idea of any of them being seriously injured. I… My sister is enough. I still can’t believe that she’s gone and that I won’t get to see her ever again. I can’t believe that I won’t get to hear her snarky comments ever again. I can’t believe that I lost my sister. It’s…. It’s not fair.”

“It isn’t, you’re right.” I tell her. “But at least you’ll get to say a proper last goodbye.”

“Yes, at least I got granted the chance to go to her funeral.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Anya's funeral, Octavia and Raven come back and talk about the assault.


	14. Revenge

_“I didn’t have much time to prepare this. I thought I had at least forty years to prepare for my sister’s funeral speech. I guess I was wrong. My sister was the last piece that kept me linked to my family. She’s been there for every moment of my life, from the second I was born. I’ve never known a life without Anya by my side. We even ended up in prison together, this should be enough to prove how much we’ve shared. I woke up the day after she died feeling like I missed something. A piece of me is gone and I will never get to replace it, not that I’d want to. Anya was my sister, my family, my best friend. I feel like I woke up with a missing piece of my heart. It’s a feeling of emptiness deep in my stomach, a feeling I can’t shake off. It’s here and it’ll be here forever. I love you Anya and I’ll be missing you for the rest of my days.”_

I can still feel my own words echoing in my mind as Clarke and I wait for Octavia and Raven to get back from medical. We weren’t allowed to visit them when they were in medical and neither Blake nor Oak found a way to help us. Considering that the attack on them resulted in a fatality, I’m sure they doubled the security around this place. Or simply around them, I’m not sure.

Clarke starts crying the moment she spots Octavia and Raven from the hallway. She runs to meet them, careful not to hurt them more than they actually are. The three of them walk slowly to where I’m standing and both Octavia and Raven hug me. Lightly, it feels like hugging a feather.

“You guys look terrible.” I tell them.

Octavia smiles at me. “Breaking my nose and my left cheekbone won’t stop me.”

“Should I or should I not remind you of your orbital fracture?” Raven says, smiling faintly.

“Right. That too.” Octavia says. “You should have seen me a few days ago, I looked like damn Mike Wazowski.”

“I am glad that you’re okay.” I tell her. “And Raven, what happened to you?”

“Broken right arm, wrist and shoulder and dislocated left elbow.” Raven explains.

“Was it who I think it was?” I ask them.

Raven nods. “Nia, Ontari and a few Ice Nation minions.”

“I know that you’re probably going to feel weird with all these questions because of my sister, but… I need to understand. Did they say anything?”

Octavia looks at Clarke before looking at me and I can see her nodding. “They said that... That the biggest mistake people make in prison is to love. That love is weakness and that punishing both you and Clarke for your past mistakes was far too easy.”

“Mistakes?!” I find myself yelling. “What kind of mistakes did we make that are blatantly against them? Was it my family’s business? Killing my parents and kidnapping myself and my girlfriend wasn’t enough? Wasn’t almost killing Clarke not enough? And what did she do to spite them? Is loving me the mistake she made? Is it being top dog? What the fuck!”

Clarke grabs my hand and squeezes it gently.

“The person who had you arrested was an Ice Nation spy and Ontari’s sister. Apparently, she was tortured and burned alive by your when you were arrested.” Raven explains, her voice flat. “And… Roan, Nia’s son… He was at Clarke’s party.”

I can see Clarke tensing and then turning a sick shade of white.

“I didn’t know.” Clarke whispers. “I… I-I… I have a list with the victims, but…”

“It’s okay.” I quickly tell her. “What she’s doing to us is not fair. I didn’t have Ontari’s sister killed and you didn’t kill Nia’s son on purpose.”

“Still, I did kill him.”

“Let’s not think about damn Nia for a while. Shampoo anyone?”

Both Octavia and Raven shook their heads. “Sleep time for me.”

“And I am going to drink a ton of water and then I’m off to bed.” Raven comments.

“I’ll walk them to their cells and then I’ll have some shampoo with you.” Clarke says, smiling weakly.

I nod and walk back to her cell. After about five minutes, I realize that I need to pee and quickly walk to the bathroom. On my way there, I find myself hiding behind a wall to listen to what Clarke is telling her friends.

“I’ll take care of this.” She says. “I can’t live like this anymore, scared that someone is going to get hurt. We already lost Anya and I can’t see Lexa suffering like this anymore. I just can’t.”

“What are you going to do?” Octavia asks her.

“I need to stop Nia and Ontari. The both of them.” Clarke explains. “Because I know that their next victim is going to be Lexa and I can’t let that happen. I love her too much.”

I shake my head.

Clarke is not going to take care of this, because I am.

She’s suffering enough for the murders she already committed and I know that she keeps having nightmares about that night. I won’t let her carry this weight on her shoulders as well.

I am going to kill Nia and Ontari. Tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no!   
> But who's going to get there first? Is Clarke going to add two more murders to her list or is Lexa going to kill for the first time?


	15. It Was Me

It was still dark outside when the alarm started disrupting the peace. Before she even opened her eyes, Lexa was already running to Clarke’s cell.

She found the blonde running towards her cell once she turned one of the last corners. She was so happy to see Clarke safe and sound that she almost flew into the blonde’s arms.

“You’re safe.” Clarke whispered into her ear.

Lexa nodded quickly as they made their way to Clarke’s cell. There, they found both Octavia and Raven waiting for them.

They had all managed to walk out of their own cells before lockdown. For once, they were lucky, because Lincoln was the one closing up Clarke’s block. He signed for her to go and talk to him and she ran to the entrance to meet him.

“What did you do?” He asked, whispering.

“I did nothing.” She whispered back.

“Nia and Ontari are both dead. Found dead in their holding cells, their throats slit open. You’re the only one who can walk around at night.”

“I am not.” Clarke stated.

“Clarke, this is serious.” He sighed.

“I am being serious. I was in my cell all night long.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes I feel like you’re trying to redeem yourself for what you did, but then you pull stunts like this and I realize that you got here for a reason.”

He walked away, leaving Clarke with her mouth wide open. She walked back to where her friends were.

“Nia and Ontari were killed.” She whispered. “Both of them, during the night.”

She eyed Lexa, who was already glaring at her. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a second.

On a different room, director Kane was talking with a few of his officers.

“We have a short list of people who could have committed the crime.” He began. “There is no evidence that points to anyone in particular but, based on recent events, our main suspects are Blake, Griffin, Reyes and Woods.”

“Blake and Reyes are too hurt to commit such a vicious crime.” One of the officers replied. “Reyes is basically unable to use both her arms and Blake would probably faint if her face was touched. Neither of them could have possibly done it.”

“So, we’re thinking either Griffin or Woods.”

“Griffin has had problems with both Frost and Yce. She has a violent past, she is here because of a violent crime.” An officer said. “I’ve heard people saying that Frost and Yce were behind the attack that injured Blake and Reyes and killed Woods’ sister. Both of them have motives.”

“I think that Griffin is the one that could actually do it.” Kane replied. “We’ve known her for a long time, we know what she’s capable of and I’m sure she wouldn’t think twice before taking her revenge. And let’s not forget that Yce’s group attacked her a few months back.”

“That’s true.” The first officer agreed. “I’m more on Woods on this one, though. I don’t know if you were aware, but Griffin and Woods are in a relationship. Griffin was attacked a few months back by the same people who apparently killed Woods’ sister the other day. She might have been the one seeking revenge.”

Kane sighed. “I’ll talk to the police and tell them everything we’ve come up with.”

Clarke and Lexa waited and waited for hours. They knew that officers were going to want to talk to them, and they were right. Five officers came marching in Clarke’s block, taking the both of them in separate rooms to be interrogated.

“Miss Woods.” One of the officers interrogating Lexa began. “We’re here to investigate the murders of Nia Yce and Ontari Frost.”

Her lawyer was sitting next to her, but she had advised her to remain silent. She was going to do the talking.

“And you think that I did it.”

The officer looked at her. “I actually think it was Clarke Griffin who did it.”

Lexa sighed loudly. “Clarke would never do such thing.”

“Why not?” He asked.

“Because she’s too soft.” She explained. “People keep saying that she has a violent past, but she does not. She did commit murder, she did kill a lot of people, but… It wasn’t violence. She’s never hit people before. She’s never even handled a knife. Even here, she is Top Dog, but she doesn’t go after people herself. At first I thought it was because she didn’t want to get her hands dirty, but… Guess what? It’s because she doesn’t know how to go after people.”

“So you’re telling me that a girl who murdered more than thirty people at eighteen isn’t violent?”

Lexa nodded. “That’s accurate.”

“Who was it, then?”

“It was me.” Lexa stated.

“You? Why?”

“Because those bitches attacked my girlfriend, tried to kill the only two friends that I have in here and succeeded in killing my sister.” Lexa said, her voice flat. “I think I had more than a reason.”

On a different room, Clarke was staring at the two officers who were talking to her. Her lawyer was sitting next to her, looking nervous.

“You do know why we’re here, right?” One of the officers asked her.

“Let me guess. Murder?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

The officer nodded. “You are not our main suspect.”

Clarke felt her blood freezing in her veins. “You and I go way back. You should know me well.”

He nodded again. “There is someone who has a stronger motive than you do.”

Clarke sighed. “These two women attacked me for no apparent reason, and they tried to kill me. They attacked my two best friends and tried to kill them as well. They ended up killing my girlfriend’s sister, the person who mattered the most in her life.”

The officer stared at her in silence.

“Have you ever loved someone, officer Stain?” She asked. “I was arrested when I was eighteen, with a promise of spending the rest of my living days in prison. For me, it meant that my life was over. My dreams of becoming a doctor were over. My idea of finding someone to love and raising a family with them was over. Everything that I had planned for myself was over in the blink of an eye. The moment the jury said the word guilty, everything fell apart. I got here and imagined a life of grey days and grey nights, with nothing but sorrow to accompany me for the rest of my life. Then Lexa got here. I was used to the greyness of my life, to the blandness of my days. She brought colour. A colour I thought I had forgotten. So many different shades, patterns, and varieties. I love her with all my heart and seeing her suffer the way she does because of her sister made me feel fire inside my chest. A fire that I was only able to extinguish the moment I saw Nia and Ontari’s lives flying away as they exhaled their last breathes.”


End file.
